Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep
by Abbi4Raie
Summary: "He never remembered anything else until the soft, distant beeping sped up. It took over him, sounding almost as if it were coming from the inside of his head." Warning: Major character death Rated M to be safe


**This is something my little sister inspired me to write.  
I don't own NCIS or The Big Bang Theory.**

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"Ziva, DiNozzo, go check out the storage lock-up." Gibbs tossed the keys to Tony.

"On it, boss," he said.

The two turned to leave as Gibbs continued, "McGee, go see if Abby needs any help. I'm down with Ducky if you need me."

The elevator dinged, announcing it's arrival. The partners climbed aboard. Ziva pressed the button for the main floor, and stood silently during the entire descent, pretending to not be listening to Tony ramble on about movies.

They exited the elevator, and made their way out to the car. The former mossad officer snatched the car key from Tony's hand, announcing, "I'm driving." Tony groaned, but sat in the passenger seat anyway.

The usual bickering commenced. It started with Tony making a comment on Ziva's driving, including the words, "die", "kill", and "horrible". Ziva put in a snide remark. And Tony, being Tony, just _had_ to say something else. But somehow, and very surprisingly, the pair were laughing by the time they made it to their destination.

As they walked toward the set-up, Ziva said, "You go check out Petty Officer Jameson's locker. I will take the brother's. Keep in contact using our cell phones."

"Alright." He handed her the key.

The two lockers were on opposite sides of the place, so they headed in opposing directions.

"Zee-vah, you there yet?" Tony said as he entered the locker.

"Yes, I am. You should see this place. It is a mess!"

"Complete opposite of this one. There is barely anything in here, and what is is all organized. Seems almost like something Dr. Sheldon Cooper would have."

"Doctor... who?"

"Sheldon Cooper."

"Who is that?"

"He is a character from the Big Bang Theory. Haven't you seen it? It's a really funny show about these super smart scientists who-"

"Tony."

"What?"

"Shut up."

"Fine, Miss Grumpy Pants. But me and you are gonna have to watch it some time."

"I think you mean 'you and I'."

"Whatever."

It was almost silent as Tony continued searching the locker. The only sound, other than the noise he was making, was Ziva's rhythmic breathing.

That was broken when her voice whispered, "What? Oh, n-"

The explosion that cut her off resonated throughout Tony's body. Then, almost as if in slow motion, he took off running.

_No. No! This can't be happening?_

He couldn't get there fast enough, but his feet couldn't move any faster.

He couldn't lose her. Not again.

What felt like an eternity later, the locker was in sight. It got closer and closer with every pounding footstep until, finally, he was there.

Ziva was sprawled across the floor, blood splattered everywhere. But she couldn't be dead. Tony wouldn't allow.

He hung up the call on his phone. As he dialed 911, he checked to make sure Ziva was still alive. His heart skipped a beat when he found a pulse, though faint.

Then he realized the dispatcher was speaking on the other end, and he knew he had to say something.

"This is Special Agent DiNozzo of NCIS. My partner has just been caught in an explosion. She's unconscious, with barely a pulse, and there's a lot of blood, and-"

"Stay calm. sir. Help will be on the way as soon as you tell me where you are."

Tony relayed the information to the woman.

"C'mon, Zi, don't die on me. Just keep holding on. Help will be here soon," he said in a soothing tone. He continued speaking to her until her heard sirens in the distance.

Then everything happened so fast.

The ambulance was there and Ziva , instead of takingwas being loaded into it. Tony was being held back - they wouldn't let him go with her. And then he was released, but the ambulance was gone before he could make a move.

Tony's feet carried him to the car - thank God Ziva had given him back the key when he gave her the one for the locker - while his brain was still trying to process what had happened. And he sped off, on his way to the hospital.

x.

After a few rings, there was a click and then a gruff voice said, "Gibbs."

"I'm at Bethesda. There was a bomb. Ziva was hit.:

"On the way."

Gibbs hung up, leaving Tony alone with his thoughts.

What if Ziva died? He didn't think he would be able to survive that again. He would probably end up going batshit crazy, a million times worse than the last time. He felt like it was his fault - again. He let her check the brother's locker, instead of taking it himself. His locker was much more likely to have a bomb in it; he _was_ their prime suspect, and he knew it. But they hadn't found anything against him, so they had to let him go. He had just enough time to plant a bomb in his storage locker, the obvious place for them to look next, and conveniently placed on the opposite end of the lot from his brother's, another place they needed to check out.

Why had this happened? Ziva didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve all of the hell her life had thrown her way; not her mother's death, not her sister's death, not her brother's death, not Saleem and Somalia, nothing. But her soul was continuously tortured.

Finally, Gibbs arrived, breaking him free from his tormenting thoughts.

"Heard anything?"

"No, boss, I haven't."

The silver-haired man walked straight on past him, not telling him where he was going.

Tony slumped down into an uncomfortable plastic chair, and the dreaded thoughts took over him mind once again.

x.

They were all standing outside of Ziva's room in the ICU, waiting to be let in. It was only hours later, but Gibbs and Ducky had bribed the nurses into letting the team see her, though they would only allow two of them in at once.

Ducky and Jimmy were the first ones to go in. They were in there for a few minutes, before walking through the door with stony expressions on their faces. Tony ignored them, continuing his pacing.

McGee and Abby went in next. They seemed to take forever, making Tony's nerves raw. He paced and paced, trying to calm himself and keep his thoughts at bay. He could feel the eyes of the others on him, but ignored it, focusing solely on the fact that Ziva was in the room next to him.

Finally, the door opened. Abby wasThere were clutching onto McGee. He had his arm wrapped around her shoulder's comfortingly.

Tony stopped his pacing and walked in through the door, Gibbs following closely behind, though the younger agent barely noticed he was there. The only thing on his mind was Ziva.

What he saw made his heart skip a beat, and not in a good way. There were so many machines hooked up to Ziva, the beeping and humming the only sounds int he room. Ziva was covered in horrible burns. Her hair was matted with blood and dirt, and possibly some of her own flesh.

Tony walked over to her bedside, gazing down at her. There was one tiny patch of unmarred olive skin on her cheek. He very lightly brushed his finger tips against it.

He never remembered anything else until the soft, distant beeping sped up. It took over him, sounding almost as if it were coming from the inside of his head.

The nurses rushed in and took charge. They tried to kick him and Gibbs out, but after much refusal, gave up and joined the others in trying to slow down Ziva's heart.

Then there was silence. It only lasted about a millisecond, but in everybody's minds it felt like an eternity. They all held their breath, waiting for the beeping to return.

And it did. But it wasn't the steady beeping they were hoping for. It was one long, drawn out beep.

Tony's stomach sank, and tears welled in his eyes. His legs started to give out, but Gibbs caught him and ushered him out of the room. Out there, everybody looked shocked. They had heard the entire thing. Abby's hand was over her mouth, eyes wide. McGee held her other hand, eyes just as wide, jaw slack. Ducky and Palmer had lost their stony expressions.

"Sh-she-" Tony never got anything else out of his mouth before the tears started to flow. He sat on the floor be the wall and covered his face with his hands. "No, n-no," he whispered, shaking his head back and forth. He felt a hand on his shoulder but didn't look up to see who is was.

x.

"Ziva was an amazing woman. She was tough, but kind and loving. She was a great agent. She knew how to get the job done, whether it was by breaking someone's bones or having a heart-to-heart with them. She was the best friend I've ever had. She had a hard life, but she pulled through after everything thrown her way. She cared more about other people than herself, like it was her duty to protect others, no matter the cost. And I know she is somewhere now, watching over us. Ziva is our angel." Tony nearly choked on the last word, but kept his speech steady and strong. For her. One tear slipped down his cheek. He looked up into the bright blue sky, before joining the rest of the team.

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**I will be posting another version of this, hopefully within the next week. It is just an alternate ending. It will be called "And If I Die Before I Wake". **

**I hoped you liked this. Please review!**


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